The lessons I learned on how to be an adult must have been very subtle, delivered so quiet and unobtrusive that I didn't even notice I learned them. I'm generally certain I've mastered some of the basics: how to treat others as I'd like to be treated (except for when I'm feeling vulnerable or when I'm cursing slow or erratic drivers from behind the not opaque enough windows of my car with out of state plates), how to take pride in a job well done (thanks worker bee ancestors and to my hard working parents), and the necessity of love, play and laughter for a life well lived. Household chores, changing a flat tire, building a fire, and filling out a 1040ez, no problem. It's some of those other skills in the realm of being a financially responsible adult, such as buying a home or ridding myself of a college debt that feels like a boulder sized ball and chain, that make me want to curl up fetal and suck my thumb.
Did you learn any of those skills essential to staying on the surface of our American economy from family, community or your school? Having taken an unofficial survey amongst my peers I will guess that you did not learn how to pay your taxes, handle a mortgage, make an informed decision about taking on debt, or even handle the more mundane task of balancing your budget: rent, food, bills, etc. If you can't perform the tasks that are required of a person aka an autonomous adult, does that mean you're simply a child, pretending to be a grown up?
Don't get me wrong, quite a few of the habits and attitudes common to the average concept of the American adult appear grim and undesirable to me. Work 40+ hours a week, with your only time off through the year a two week vacation from which you return to work more exhausted than before, all the while trading your time for an existence you may or may not like. Rack up debt going to college, co-own an oversized house with the bank, and buy things you probably don't need or even really want with credit cards that come to rule you. I've tried some of these habits and they don't suit me.
And now my man and I intend to buy a house. Amongst the price range we can afford is a meager assortment of run down and poorly built abodes. My husband gets to be the on paper provider because my college debt is just debt. I'm so very grateful that I was fortunate enough to continue my education beyond high school. I regret, however, the lack of foresight that given my lifestyle choices, I doubled the debt from my first year of college alone by ignoring it. A liberal arts degree doesn't bestow a whole lot of economic bang for the buck to pay that debt back. Thankfully, a massage therapy certification and license does.
So my hard working high school graduate husband will be our loan holder, and because of my college loans I'll pay rent and help renovate whatever foreclosure or for sale by owner we can afford. We won't purchase beyond our means - we strive to rid ourselves of credit card debt and I scheme how to pay for a college education I haven't yet figured a use for - our goals are clear. Be fiscally responsible, learn how to do that in the ways to which we currently lack knowledge, and continue to find the balance of work and the rest of life. To that end this bookworm has gathered materials from the library on how to manage money, buy a house and get out of debt. Because I believe that's what an adult does: accepts her ignorance, her frustrations, but doesn't hold a grudge, and then sets out to change her circumstances.
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