Coup de Grace

Here's the thing: I have this wish that some day a certain combination of circumstances will come together and the planets align, once I've exercised until I have a washboard belly to envy, when I hold down a real, consistent job and after I've earned a master's degree in writing (to add to the bachelor's degree that I've been saving for a special occasion)... and then I will be struck by Grace with her wicked bitch slap and voilà, I am set free to write. 

I like to think of this happening on Happy Crush Your Fear Day, (CYFD) when I'm no longer petrified to expose the oddest parts of who I am, to risk success or failure, or to piss off Grace's alter ego, Perfection. That bully has pinched me on the sly every time I've even dared to hope I've found a good start to introduce this blog. Today, my first official day celebrating a happiest of CYFDs, I imagine a revamped Miss Imperfection who cuts her hair with garden shears, pushes a safety pin through her nostril, and crams a doughnut into her mouth as slaps me on the shoulder and says "now you're free, kid." Free to succeed farther than the boundaries of my wildest dreams, free to fail spectacularly, free to write about any and everything, without censor.

One story I've told myself must be true is that some day I will be a writer, after I'm whole, healed, brave, better, other. As if through idle dreams, self-help schemes and practiced apathy I can transform leftover excuses piled one on another into something palatable, even though the ingredients are stale, rotten or have sprouted primordial fuzz. I can't wait for a coup de Grace, for my inner censor to down a few shots of tequila, a Tuesday, permission, or even inspiration. By the grace of my own choice, because I decide, I am a writer.

I offer you my words, adventures and everything before, between, sideways, above and below. This blog is a work in progress, process that trumps product, and an experiment through words, images, and sounds. I will add new content every day, as I explore the world through my own point of view and attempt to travel beyond.

I am grateful for your interest, your feedback and hopefully your participation as well.

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