Self-healing diet

Two months ago, I had confirmation from a doctor of oriental medicine that I have some kind of imbalance - energetic or otherwise - with my gallbladder and liver. Western tests and ideas about how the body functions revealed nothing amiss. Two ultrasounds showed no gallstones and my blood work proved to be at normal levels, except for a slight vitamin D deficiency. 

The cure she suggested includes Chinese herbs (Free and Easy Wanderer, to deal with liver chi function), along with a strict adherence to a low fat, especially minimal saturated fats, vegan diet, which I have followed from day #3 after the visit. This information precipitated a few days’ panicked binge, and I ate several pints of Vermont ice cream, movie theater jumbo sized quantities of buttered popcorn and at least one burger with fries before I acquiesced to reality. 

The first week challenged me to create meals, snacks and even beverage options that complied with the guidelines I found in Healing with Whole Foods by Paul Pitchford. During the transition from content omnivore to healing myself vegan I understood I would probably feel better if I ate in a different way but occasional temper tantrums erupted about having to make such a radical shift. Still, the desire to be free of constant pain kept me moving forward, reminded me that I had 10 years of vegetarian cooking under my belt, and led me to find recipes online, cookbooks at the library and on my own shelves. 

One of those books is The Self-Healing Cookbook by Kristina Turner, based on macrobiotic principles. The inscription, dated February 2001 and written in my own hand, says “Sara Jane, heal thyself. Love to you and scrumptious food.” I reclaimed this book, which I had gifted my sister Sara, the horrible day my mom, sister, brothers and I cleaned out her apartment, post her funeral in November 2005. 

During the long years she struggled with addiction, depression, mental illness and a thorough lack of hope that she might someday shed some of the burdens and scars she’d collected over the years, I maintained hope that something might lead her to recovery. However, I doubt she glanced through its pages once: her relationship with food was tumultuous, from a childhood as a “picky eater,” to an adulthood when picky became anorexic, compounded by insulin dependent diabetes.

I share this because the struggles of one reflect the struggles of all, even though it manifests in a different way from one person to another. I know that the pain I’ve felt for four years is diet related, but it’s also the result of years of unprocessed emotions and high levels of stress. Chinese medicine attributes the negative emotions of anger, lack of courage, and indecisiveness to dysfunction of the liver and gallbladder. I tend toward road rage and jaw clenched intensity, I’ve wanted to be a writer for forever and feared to do so, and I have lost count of how many times I’ve said “I don’t know what to do” since emotions became physical symptoms.  

The book I gave my sister to heal her body has become a tool to heal my own. I eat to transform my health and in two months I have had a 50% reduction in pain and shed 20 pounds, so now I’m moving into the second and third components of this healing mission. Stress, anxiety and anger are on the out and I am focused on calm, cool, quiet mind and peaceful heart. I have rescue remedy in the car and I’ve started riding my bike around town, which is almost as fast travel as driving and great exercise, another de-stresser. This aspect of transformation challenges me, just as altering my diet has, just as will part three: forgiveness of myself and others who contributed to my imbalance.